There is some weird dialogue with this conversation with waltz.
Waltz says , “Yo commander, did you have fun with in that simulation”. That doesn’t make sense.
A possible fix “Yo commander, did you have fun with your M.A.S.S in that simulation”
Please be careful writing dialogue as if it doesn’t make sense it can make the experience of the game a bit jarring for the player.
Missed a bit in the second sentance he says “I had Quindolia made the simulated M.A.S.S looked exactly like ours.
A possible fix “I had Quindolia make the simulated M.A.S.S look and work exactly like this one” he could even say beauty to add a little something to his character.
It might be an idea to get a native english speaker/ writer to go over your dialogue choices to help with the writing and dialogue since you’re targeting a primarily english speaking audience at this point.